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Day 13 · Clear requests

Use an I-statement

What to know

Describe observable behaviour, its impact, your need and a specific request. Avoid labels such as “always selfish.”

Example — “When plans change without a message, I feel anxious. I need reliability. Would you text me when you know?”

Today’s practice — Draft one specific, realistic request that allows a genuine choice.

If this isn’t safe to do with someone else

If asking this person for something has led to punishment or fear before, keep the request written and unsent. Try it with a safer relationship, or revisit it if circumstances change.

Today’s reflection

In the workbook these are ruled lines to write on. With a copy, you can also write them privately in your account and keep the whole month together.

What happened? What did I feel and need?

When ___, I feel ___. I need ___. Would you be willing to ___?

One compassionate sentence to myself:

☐ Done ☐ Partly done ☐ Skipped for safety or capacity ☐ Not applicable

There are twenty-nine more

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This page is reproduced from Calm & Connect, First edition • Revised 2026. It is educational and is not therapy, diagnosis or emergency support. Find urgent support.